


Emotions (Tsukkiyama)

by chesekeki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt Yamaguchi Tadashi, M/M, Terushima Yuuji's Birthday, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28810137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chesekeki/pseuds/chesekeki
Summary: This is my first fanfic on here, my wattpad is "chesekeki" same as here :,)
Relationships: Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing on here :,) my wattpad is "chesekeki" same as here!

𝐘𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢, 𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟐𝟖

I tend to look at the moon whenever I'm lost, or suddenly get lonely. It's like comfort to me, in a way. I'd talk to it as if it were talking back to me. As if _he_ were talking back to me.

𝐘𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢, 𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟔

𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐯

As excited as someone would be to receive a gift, Yamaguchi was impatiently waiting to see his father after he had gone on a 7-month business trip to America. The young freckled boy sat in his car seat, waiting for his mom to finish driving. He'd look out the window, and look at fast cars speeding by them. but nothing seemed to pass the time by faster.

"Mom, are we there yet?" He asked for the 57th time today. It had only been 15 minutes, but those 15 minutes felt like an eternity to him. His mom gave him a worn-out look before sighing and shaking her head.

"I'm sorry yams, we still have 45 minutes until we can reach the airport." The green-haired boy whined and kicked his feet around hoping that would pass the time. Not knowing it had only been a couple of seconds. Then changing his mood completely, from a whiny baby to a well-behaved child.

"So mom..." This woman prayed that she wouldn't hear that one question she hated with a passion in her heart. She felt as if she would explode upon hearing the 4 worded question. Unfortunately, her prayers weren't heard.

"Are we there yet?" As the mother stopped at a red light, she gently hit her head on the beeper of the car, causing sensitive little Yamaguchi to jump. The irritated mother murmured curse words under her breath before continuing to drive.

Yamaguchi looked out the open window in the car. Letting the wind blow on his face, even if he struggled to breathe for a moment here and there. He liked the feeling of it from time to time, his mother said the freckled boy looked like a panting dog with his tongue out and his head poking out the window.

Within time, they arrived at the airport and parked in an empty spot. The mother of the ambitious child got out of the car and unlocked Yamaguchi's car door.

"Tadashi, I need you to be absolutely calm alright? Don't be reckle-" The freckled boy ran, cutting his mother off from the rest of her sentence. With quick panic, she started chasing after him. Yamaguchi couldn't wait anymore, he wanted to see his father now. He was almost there, at the entrance. Just a few more steps until he could reach his father. Just a road keeping the freckled boy from embracing his father. His father was coming out of the airport, but when Yamaguchi saw him, fear was written all over him.

"TADASHI!!"

The young boy stopped looking at his surroundings. Seeing a bright light from the corner of his eye to his right before falling in front of his father. For a split second, he could see the shock in his fathers' eyes His hand was out to reach for the boy, but he stood frozen. or so Yamaguchi thought his father was trying to reach for him. Yamaguchi got up with his head tilted, a bit scared.

"P-Papa..?" The young boy asked anxiously. His father still stood frozen, he hadn't moved at all. Yamaguchi's curiosity couldn't help itself. He turned around to the horrid sight of his mother in front of him. Her body laid there in front of Yamaguchi, lifeless, blood everywhere.

The driver from before gets out of his vehicle, calling the police immediately. Yamaguchi just stood there looking at his mother. He wasn't crying nor scared. His father was the complete opposite, shaking in fear. The freckled boys' father couldn't understand, why wasn't the boy feeling the same things as he was?

The father outraged started screaming at the young boy.

" **WHY AREN'T YOU CRYING?! YOU'RE JUST A FUCKED UP CHILD WHO HASN'T DONE ANYTHING RIGHT EVEN UP TILL NOW!!** "

_papa? why are you screaming at me?_

" **YOUR MOTHER IS DEAD AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN CRYING!? DO YOU EVEN CARE?!** "

_papa no that's not true... I do care..._

" **YOU AREN'T NORMAL YOU'RE-** " The father got caught off by the sound of police, and sirens. He waved frantically to get their attention. Soon, the police came over to the sight of the panic-struck man. There were four of the policemen in the car, one arrests the man who ran over the young boys' mother. The second, questioning Yamaguchi's father. The third going over to Yamaguchi, kneeling down to seem less frightening.

"Are you okay? Can you remember what happened?" Yamaguchi responded calmly with very few words.

"I'm okay Mr. Officer, but my mom isn't, she's over there." Yamaguchi points to his mother as it was the lightest subject to speak about, the officer fell backward after looking over to the direction he pointed toward. He calmly tried to go to the police car but ended looking a bit too shaken up. However, He ended up making it to the car safely.

"There's something wrong with that kid." He says to the last officer there, in the car. "What do you mean Eito?" Eito only shook his head in slight fear. "No, you don't understand Hirotaka. This kid is broken. Full-on broken." He gulped again, Eito, finally calmer. Got out of the car again to talk to the young boy.

Yamaguchi could see the nice man from before returning to him, but he didn't understand. Why was everyone scared and crying? Why did his father scream at him? he didn't like it. not one bit.

"Hey kid, we'll have to take you somewhere alright? Your father will join you so don't worry." Eito said kneeling back in front of the confused boy. Yamaguchi just nodded obediently. 

"Hey, mister? can I know your name?" Yamaguchi asked.

" ** _Tsukishima Eito_** "

..ｃｏｒｅ ｍｅｍｏｒｙ ｓａｖｅｄ.


	2. Chapter Two

"ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀʏ.. ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ɢʀᴇʏ?!"

_"Joy what do you mean it came out grey? Core memories don't come out grey!"_

"𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕝? 𝕃𝕖𝕥 𝕞𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕖... 𝕆𝕙 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕥."

_"What're we going to do? This has never happened before Joy! What if Tadashi doesn't develop his personality Islands? What if.. we all disappear?!"_

"ꜰᴇᴀʀ, ᴄᴀʟᴍ ᴅᴏᴡɴ. ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪꜱᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀ. ɪ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ! ɪ'ʟʟ ꜰɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏʟᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ!"

 **"𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗝𝗼𝘆, 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘆 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘆 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘄𝗲'𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲. 𝗢𝗸𝗮𝘆, 𝗴𝘂𝘆𝘀?!"** Anger said, looking towards all of the other emotions. They all were puzzled and freaking out. As he was waiting for a response Joy kept looking back at the core memory.

The bright emotion didn't know whether to put it in with the other core memories or leave it for the dumps. No, she made that mistake once. She won't do it again. The joyous emotion walked over to where the other core memories were, placing it in one slot, and saw a personality island come up. It wasn't colorful nor bland, it was just an island with negative thoughts written on signs, with what looked like a statue of the young boy in the middle. Taking all of the negative thoughts for himself and only himself. 

"𝔾𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜..! 𝕎𝕒𝕚𝕥, 𝕁𝕠𝕪, 𝕨𝕙𝕪 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕠... 𝕤𝕒𝕕?" Disgust questioned, She'd never seen so much negativity since, well, sadness. 

"𝙾𝚑 𝚗𝚘, 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗?" The blue emotion asked. She secretly knew it was her fault, everything was her fault. She just wanted to lay down and forget about it all. Just a quick nap to help her avert her mind from all of the sadness in headquarters.

"ɴᴏ! ꜱᴀᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ. ɪɴ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ꜱᴇᴇɴ ᴀɴ ɪꜱʟᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪɴɢ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛᴀᴅᴀꜱʜɪ? ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪꜱʟᴀɴᴅꜱ ʜᴇ ʜᴀꜱ ɪꜱ ᴄᴏꜱᴍᴏꜱ ɪꜱʟᴀɴᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜰʀʏ ɪꜱʟᴀɴᴅ." Those were the only other two things Tadashi was really fond of. The two things he loved and was passionate about. 

"𝔾𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕨𝕖'𝕝𝕝 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕒𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕓𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖." Disgust sighed, sitting down and resting her head on her hand, "𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕘𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕗."

. 

. 

𝐘𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢, 𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟔

Yamaguchi was in the police car with Mr. Eito and Mr. Hirotaka. He sat in the back with his head against the window. Breathing deeply, leaving a few breath marks on the window. He didn't want to be there, especially with his father next to him. He didn't want to be with his father right now. Even though he hasn't seen him in 7 months. The young boy didn't understand why his father would lash out at him, he didn't do anything wrong! Did he? _What if I did do something wrong?_ The boy thought to himself. 

The freckled boy saw a pair of eyes staring at him, the eyes felt comfortable but not something he could get used to. He turns his head a bit and sees Mr. Eito looking back at him for a quick moment before the officer whipped his head back towards Hirotaka. 

The boy wondered what he would've been doing right now if this whole mess didn't happen. Would he and his parents be at home? Would they be at the park, maybe have a picnic? He wouldn't know. His mother's dead. Gone. He found the situation confusing. 

Was something really wrong with him? 

_ **"WHY AREN'T YOU CRYING?! YOU'RE JUST A FUCKED UP CHILD WHO HASN'T DONE ANYTHING RIGHT EVEN UP TILL NOW!!"**  
_

_Why would papa say those things? why wasn't I crying?_

**_ "YOUR MOTHER IS DEAD AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN CRYING!? DO YOU EVEN CARE?" _ **

_I care, I really do. I just don't show it. yea._ The young boy thought as if he was trying to convince himself that he wasn't strange or weird. 

_I'm normal. I'm normal. I'm normal?_ He repeated the phrase, but now it seemed more like a question. He gave up on thinking and decided to draw on the window, but realized it wasn't there. The door was open with Mr. Eito in front of him. 

"Kid are you alright?" 

Tadashi nodded slowly, confused at what happened but shook it off as he looked at his surroundings once again. There were trees, but there were lots of other cars around them. He looked farther to his right and met his eyes to a tall building with glass as windows and as some walls. He could see patients with blue dresses, well that's what he called patient gowns anyway.

"Why're we here Mr. Eito?" The young boy asked while tugging the hem of the officers' police uniform. He noticed a nice belt and some gold buttons on the top part of his uniform. It calmed yams in a way like someone was there to protect him.

"To give you a check-up! We want to make sure you're doing good!" Yamaguchi tilted his head and scrunched up his nose for a second. 

"But Mr. Eito? I feel fine?" The officer just sighed and walked with him inside of the building, with his father following behind them. 

Tadashi just kept to himself the whole time they talked to the receptionist. He didn't like interacting with people who seemed scary to him. Whenever she'd ask him a question he'd just keep quiet. Unless his father would threaten him to talk, by pinching his arm a bit too roughly. 

"Alright kid, all you gotta do is walk to room B315 and there, they'll just ask some questions. After they're done you can go back home!" The officer smiles brightly trying to get Yamaguchi to crack a laugh or at least reveal a small smile. but all Yamaguchi could do was nod. 

"Okay Mr. Eito, Thank you." The young boy bows and starts walking to the room B15. He sees some patients with mobile ventilator machines and people who walked with their IV fluid poles by hand. He kept looking for the room. B13... B14... B15. He found it.

He walked in without hesitation to see a nice man sitting on a chair with a slight warm smile on his face.

"Sit down Yamaguchi, I'd like to have a few words with you." The young boy sat down and as soon as he did they started the questions. About thirty minutes passed as they kept talking and talking. Yamaguchi was looking at the clock, getting a bit bored from the questions, but knew he had to endure it. The doctor then faces the father with a dejected look on his face. 

"Sir, your child has schizophrenia." 


	3. Chapter Three

"Sir, your child has Schizophrenia" 

"Let's just get this over with. The symptoms? How to fix this?" The father sighed, obviously bored and very disconcerted. He looked at the child who was causing all of his problems with hatred, wanting to harm him then and there but holding himself back. He remembered where he was and what he was doing as he focused his attention back on the doctor.

"Well, Schizophrenia is where people with this disorder will want to avoid anything to do socially. It's very uncommon but comes with great risk. I recommend you let him see a therapist after this. Some symptoms he'll experience are either wanting to be alone most of the time, or he'll need to isolate himself from others. Your child won't take pleasure in most activities. He'll often not be affected by or doesn't realize the emotional distress of others around him. He might appear emotionless or humorless at times and will be disinterested in praise or criticism. Some things that can cause schizophrenia are trauma, head or brain injuries, a neglecting parental figure, or a family history with schizophrenia. Ways you can treat this is by taking him to therapy, or by giving him medication, but due to him being this age therapy is most requested by professionals." 

The father saw the doctor turning around in his chair, the chair releasing a bothersome noise, a high pitched one. The doctor reached for a sticky note on the corner of his desk, then a pen to his left. He began writing, as soon as he started he immediately finished. He handed the father the sticky note with what he assumed was a therapist and an underlined phone number at the bottom of the sticky note.

"There's the name of the therapist I recommend, and his phone number" The doctor gave out an amiable smile before sitting back in his chair and facing his computer screen. The father rolled his eyes at the paper, knowing he would just throw it out at some point in the day. He put it in his wallet in front of the doctor and left the room with his child.

Both father and son walked to their car, the father started the car engine once he sat down as he sighed. 

"Tadashi listen. Whatever that man just said is a lie alright? It's not true." He said with a stern tone, the father didn't believe in disorders and neither should his son. After Tadashi gave his father a respectable nod they drove off to their home.

As they drove, the father stopped at a red light and groaned at the slight traffic there was. Tadashi however found himself staring at a little blond girl laughing in a red compact SUV next to them at the red light, Tadashi could hear her laughs from their car window half-open. Her face was all red, sitting next to what Yamaguchi assumed was her older brother.

The blond-haired girl had a side ponytail, which jumped now and then when she let out a giggle. Her face was slowly getting redder, as she continued laughing. Tadashi envied the young girl and wondered if he could do the same, so he positioned his body to sit up, and straightened his back a bit.

"Haha.. ha. Haha?" He tried, he listened and observed the young girl, and tried reaching the pitch and enthusiasm of her voice but failed. Tadashi soon lost sight of the red vehicle as he sat back down, slumping his back a bit. Trying the same thing again. and again. and again. Tadashi stopped once his father told him to 'Shut the hell up' since the young boy was giving him a headache. 

Tadashi let out a small quiet sigh leaning his head towards the half-open, half-closed window. He looked at the passing pine trees and wondered how many there were in the world, probably too many to count. He thought to himself. The young boy decided to count anyway since he was about to die from boredom.

It started with 35, then 176, soon the freckled boy lost count and gave up. He put his hand against the window drawing nothing with his finger and waited for the time to pass by since that was all the young boy could do. Nothing seemed interesting to him, he didn't mind it. Although, what he did mind was the fact that there was a traffic jam and too much noise was going on, too many people yelling too many car noises. He didn't like it. The freckled boy decided to take a nap and hope that when he woke up he'd be home. 

.

.

"Guys, did you hear that? He cant feel his emotions! I thought we controlled that!!"

"𝕄𝕒𝕪𝕓𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖'𝕤 𝕒 𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕣 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕪𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕞?"

"𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚢..."

"ɴᴏ! ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏᴄᴜꜱ ᴏɴ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʜɪᴍ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ! ʙʀɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇꜱ! ʏ'ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʟɪᴋᴇ..." Joy looked around the room and sighed knowing there was nothing good in headquarters. Joy walked over to the control panel and typed in a core memory trying to find a certain one she had in mind.

"𝙅𝙤𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜? 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙥 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜! 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙡!"

"ɪᴛ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ɪʟʟᴇɢᴀʟ! ɪᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʜᴀꜱɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇᴇɴ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ ɪʟʟᴇɢᴀʟ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴡꜱ ʏᴇᴛ..."Joy lets out a laugh, bringing up the core memory where Yamaguchi and his mother went stargazing in December, showcasing it in Yamaguchi's brain. Joy smiles to herself, proud of what she's done.

"ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕒𝕕 𝕛𝕠𝕪, 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕒𝕕" Disgust smiles to herself loving that core memory personally since the sky looked beautiful that night.

All the emotions sat down and looked at the screen, almost all of them smiling to themselves. They all couldn't lie, it was an amazing memory to have. One of the best, concluding on why Yamaguchi's cosmos island was to exist. The emotions lay on the floor and look at the screen, happy with the Yamaguchi that December.

"ʟᴏᴏᴋ! ᴀ ꜱʜᴏᴏᴛɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴀʀ!" Every emotion made a wish, all of their wishes being personal except for one, joy. Her wish was the most important since Tadashi needed it.

.

.

"ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ꜰᴏʀ ᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴀᴅᴀꜱʜɪ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ"


	4. Chapter Four

𝐘𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢, 𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟔

Yamaguchi could hear a faint click from the car door next to him. He didn't move, not wanting to wake up. He guessed he jinxed himself since his father opened the car door, resulting in him falling on the hard concrete floor. He was sure it was to leave a mark on him for a long time but ignored it as he got up just to get pushed back down again. 

"Fucking annoying... I don't want to see you for the rest of the day. Stay in your room until I say you can leave." Yamaguchi nodded then walking through their door, picking up his pace once he caught sight of the stairs. Without realizing his feet began running on their own. He ran into his room as fast as he could, slamming the door by accident. oh no. were the only words that would pass through his mind. 

"TADASHI!!" His father screamed in rage, Yamaguchi felt his knees starting to give up on him as he backed away slowly from the door. Hearing his mother scream his name as well from just a few hours ago. He shook his head quickly making it look like a tick. He saw his mother push him again and when he looked up at his father. Everything oozed back from the past 5 hours. no.

His mind played tricks on him as he saw the door in front of him expand slowly. Everything was focused on the door and he wasn't looking away no matter how hard he wanted to. The walls were closing in on him, he found it harder to breathe than normal. He soon realized he was crying and hyperventilating. The door went back to normal size as the walls were farther away from the boy. He didn't know what was going on at all he just continued his actions, trying to stop. I'm losing control of myself. I'm losing my mind. What's going on? The boy kept asking himself the same question over and over again. He was sitting on the floor curled up in a ball covering his ear and shutting his eyes tight, wanting the feeling to go away. He felt the vibration of his fathers' loud footsteps near towards him closer and closer. 

"Open the door Tadashi." His father said in a loud stern voice. no. stop.

Tadashi kept his pose, not wanting to move nor open the door. The banging kept growing louder and louder. stop. no more. please. The young boy repeated and repeated but he never went away. The father barged into the room and kicked the young boys' right side. Yamaguchi winced, his hands going from his ears to his stomach hugging himself. 

"p-papa, stop..! p-please..!" The boy pleaded, seeming as if it was his last result. The father smirked and ignored him, picking him up by the collar of his shirt and throwing a punch at his face. The freckled boy whimpered at the contact, falling, looking at his father from the corner of his eye leaving the room.

Yamaguchi laid on the floor for a few minutes trying to calm himself down, focusing on his breathing now. The action seeming to wark on calming him down ridding of the horrid feeling that was no longer there weighing him down. He forced his legs to work and picked himself up, climbing on his bed. He looked out the window not feeling anything once again. As soon as his feelings returned they vanished. He stared at the stars looking for comfort, yet none coming to him. Yamaguchi looked at the moon loving how it was big and bright, it outshined the stars. The stars could never compare to the moon. Never.

The young boy felt his eyelids get heavier as his breathing slowed down. The last thing he saw was the bright light from the moon before falling asleep.

.

A few hours passed as the boy began to feel himself wake up slowly. 

"Ngh... My body hurts.." Yamaguchi turned around to lay his feet on the side of his bed, hopping off. He looked around the room, his pupils dilating to adjust to the darkroom. The young boy looks at his desk, where his rocketship shaped clock would usually be, but it disappeared. He walked around trying to find the missing object. As a result, he tripped over something on the floor. Oh hey, it's my clock. The young boy would laugh at this but he couldn't. He couldn't find it in himself to do it, he didn't care though. He just looked at the time. School, great.  
.

.

𝐘𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢, 𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟏𝟑

6 years have passed since Yamaguchi's mother passed away. The young boy was doing fine, well we can't say young anymore since he's grown. He's grown a bit more reserved and likes to be by himself more often. He doesn't have any friends, everyone just assumed he had some or just didn't bother to hang out with him. Yamaguchi didn't mind though, he liked it. Being alone. It was comforting to him.

The teen gets up looking at his closet. It's filled with mostly green clothes since his father would pick what he wore, Yamaguchi didn't have a choice or say in what he wanted to wear. He tried once, but that resulted in him having a bruise on his chest.

He looked through his clothes and sighed putting on a white long-sleeved shirt under his lime green sweatshirt he purchased a few weeks ago. He opened his drawer picking up some light yellow pants, rolling them up to his knees. He looked in the mirror and shrugged putting on his backpack then rolling his eyes and putting on some shoes.

He walked out of the door and decided to sneak in a granola bar from the pantry, he hoped his dad wouldn't notice later in the day but he doubted it too. He sighed once again heading his way out of the house and going to a park near his house where he'd hang out before school usually. It's the only time he can get 1 hour and 30 minutes of no yelling or scolds. 

He threw his backpack on the ground, a few wood chips sticking to it since the backpack wasn't made of the strongest quality. He swung on the swing for what seemed forever but ignored the time and just thought to himself for the time being. 

He looked up, noticing the stars starting to fade away, and the sun coming up making the horizon look orange and yellow. His eyes widened a bit at the sight, or at least he tried to widen them. He tried to make himself be surprised. It's a beautiful sight what isn't there to love about it? He doesn't know, all he knew was that he couldn't react to it.

He got off the swing since the sunrise was his cue to start heading to school. He usually wasn't bothered on his way to school and bought lunch on the way there since his father wouldn't bother and slept in the whole time. His father barely looked at him. It was as if Tadashi was living alone. He didn't mind, he thought that many kids went through this. He thought- no he assumed it was normal.

He went to the store a block away from the park where the nice woman would sell small meals. 

"Tadashi! You came today! Here's your lunch" The elderly woman gave a warm smile to the teen, Yamaguchi nodded and put up a thumbs up. The woman knew about the disorder since Yamaguchi told her about it. No one would listen to him when he tried to talk so it was relieving for someone to listen. The woman knew the poor boy couldn't smile at all so she just nodded slightly as the boy gave her money.

"This one is free today, I'm in a good mood." She smiled once again as she officially opened up the store. Yamaguchi gave another thumbs-up as he left for school. He wanted to let out a friendly smile but couldn't. He shrugged it off as he put the lunch in his backpack and continued his walk. 

The freckled boys' body was frail and weak, the only food he ate was from the lady's store, Yamaguchi couldn't ask for any money so he had to work for his money, how would you ask? Well, you wouldn't want to know. He got paid high for what he was doing though. Two-hundred to seven-hundred. He was disgusted with himself for what he had to do but that was the only way he could get to eat and drink. He was set for the rest of his life though, his father suggested Yamaguchi's job but he never suspected he would actually do it. Yamaguchi didn't mind his job, he never minded things. 

He saw his school and ran up to the big building, wanting to get the day over with already.


	5. Chapter Five

𝐘𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢, 𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟏𝟑

Students were flooding the entrance and corridors soon enough, which was obviously too overwhelming for Tadashi. He could see from afar how crowded it would be. It's his first day in middle school, not at a Bootcamp. He tried shoving past some people, not wanting to speak to anyone. The freckled boy could see his classroom from a distance as he started walking faster. Almost there, He told himself. The crowd disappeared all of a sudden, before Yamaguchi could realize what happened he was already in his classroom.

The young teen let out a sigh of relief before heading to the front of the classroom, of course, he just had to be the new one at this school. He didn't know anyone there, just himself and the same loneliness.

"Hello, My name Is Yamaguchi Tadashi. Please take care of me." The boy bows as the teacher kindly escorted the freckled boy to his seat next to a tall, blonde, young boy with black glasses. His posture was straight and steady. Yamaguchi opened his notebook and took out a pencil. He flipped a page resulting in the pen falling underneath the blond fellow beside him. Yamaguchi mentally facepalmed himself before building up the courage to ask, he didn't like talking to people. at all.

"E-Excuse me, can you hand me my pencil plea-" A scoff. A scoff is what interrupted the freckled boy. Yamaguchi didn't let it phase him, he didn't even care and reached for the pencil before the tall one spoke again.

"Tch, get it yourself. You have hands don't you?" The blonde responded with an irritated tone, looking back at the teacher, pushing his glasses up with both his index and middle finger. The younger just nodded and went under the desk grabbing his pencil, not caring at the tone. Not minding it at all actually. The blond was shocked yet conflicted, _why didn't he try to pick a fight or yell back_? He shook his head slightly staring at Yamaguchi one last time before focusing on class.

.

.

**SEVERAL CLASSES LATER**

The freckled boy packed up his belongings before standing up and exiting the classroom, now heading towards the exit of the school and turning a right to get to the schools' playground. He let out a sigh knowing no one would ask to play with him. He didn't mind it, being alone. But sometimes that loneliness became a bit sorrowful. To others, you might say, but to Yamaguchi, he didn't care. He saw the swings and headed in their direction. Yamaguchi starts speed walking towards the swings, a bit eager. Only to get pushed to the ground.

"Look at how stupid his freckles are!"

"He looks so weird!!"

"Ew, he has red spots on his face too!"

Yamaguchi stood up ignoring them and tried to face the swings, getting punched in the face immediately after he chose to look away from them. He fell and sighed getting back up only to be pushed down. Again. He started breathing heavier, maybe it was the constant motion of him getting up and down? He shrugged and one of the kids pushes The freckled teen against the pole, hitting his head.

"Don't ignore us when we're talking to you, you have no right to- HEY-!" Yamaguchi shakes his head, trying to gain focus again seeing the blonde from before defending him. The "bullies" ran off since the blonde pretty much scared them with his height.

"Hey, listen I can deal with this stuff okay? so could you just back o-" _Lame_. Yamaguchi's eyes widened a bit as he asked the tall one to repeat. _Lame_. The taller one stated once more. Yamaguchi was confused and tilted his head, obviously confused. The blonde shook his head and pushed his glasses forward again.

"Lame. You're lame. You won't admit you need help, and to me, that's pretty lame." The tall one declared bluntly and laughed. Yamaguchi looked at the blonde one for a second, he didn't care about others' feelings or their opinions. He didn't care. But for some reason, he wanted to learn. The freckled boy then bowed slightly, speaking in a semi loud voice.

"Please teach me to not be lame." The smaller replied. The other was shocked but cracked the smallest smile, shaking his head. Thinking for a bit, then sighing and going on the swings. He signaled Yamaguchi to follow, and the smaller boy did. The blonde hops on and starts swinging at a slow pace.

"I'll teach you... but first, you have to tell me something. What do you think of when you look up at the sky at night?" Yamaguchi finds himself on the swing, swinging at the same pace as the other. He was at a loss for words. Of course, Yamaguchi knew his answer head-on. But didn't want to share, embarrassed of what the other will think. He didn't care, he just didn't like it when people humiliated him.

"Well..." Yamaguchi takes a deep breath, then built up the courage to say it.

"Well, When I look at the stars, more preferably the moon. I like to imagine I'll go to the moon someday. Explore it y'know? Maybe jump around and look at earth from so far away." Yamaguchi imagined himself on the moon at that moment, as if at any time he could jump off of his swing and end up on the moon. He heard the other stay silent and sighed knowing it was a silly dream. It was a terrible dream. He hated it, but it was always there.

"What a coincidence, I've always wanted to visit the moon. I'd want to see the stars from the moon. See how brightly they really shine up close. Maybe we can go together someday." The taller replies, this time his voice had more of a warm tone, more of a longing tone. Yamaguchi nodded and looked up at the sun.

"Yea, I'd like that. My name's Yamaguchi Tadashi, what's yours?" The smaller asked, only to realize the taller was laughing on his swing, losing his pace from before. The chains being wobbly all over the place.

"I know, you idiot! You introduced yourself to the class, remember?" He continues laughing as Yamaguchi kept swinging on his swing, rolling his eyes. _Yea, yea, how funny._ He thought to himself, _How can one laugh so easily? It's so hard._

Once the blonde-haired boy finally stopped his hollering he smiled slightly and let out a hand.

"My name is **Tsukishima** Kei." Yamaguchi nods, nostalgia hitting him quick. His head blurred with moments, and apparently the moment his mom died. The freckled boy got chills down his spine as he lent out his hand and shook Tsukishimas. Yamaguchi liked the touch of his hand. It was comforting. Kind of like the moon. He thought.

"Can I call you Tsukki then, Tsukishima?" The smaller asked politely, finding the nickname sort of cute. Tsukishima nodded and then went back to his cold expression, like the one he had in class right when Yamaguchi asked for him to pick up the pencil that he dropped. Yamaguchi's head tilted, Tsukishima then spoke some words that the freckled boy wouldn't forget.

"I'll take you to the moon one day, okay?"

Yamaguchi nodded and put a thumbs up in front of Tsukki's face. Tsukishima was dumbfounded but shrugged it off, thinking that Yamaguchi was just weird, but a good weird. Tsukishima often found himself just not questioning things anymore because of his brother. Akiteru. He was the weirdest out of all of the Tsukishimas. He didn't question it though, he just went with it.

"Then I'll be waiting for you to take me." Yamaguchi said plainly, trying to put some enthusiasm into his voice, yet failing once again. Yamaguchi sighed then realizing what he needed to do. _Oh right, why didn't I think of that earlier_? He thought to himself before having a literal lightbulb over his head. Again, Tsukishima didn't question and just went along with it.

"Tsukki, I have Schizophrenia." Yamaguchi said with a slight sparkle in his eye. Tsukishima's jaw dropped slightly. How can someone say something so serious like that so calmly?! Yamaguchi just stood there waiting for a response while Tsukishima just decided to stay silent.

"....I, well, um. I'm sorry you're going through that. I'll try researching on it so I know how to help you better kay?" The blonde says then hearing the bell ring. Tsukishima's next period was gym while Yamaguchi's was art. They picked up their backpacks and walked to the entrance of the school together, then meeting in the corridor splitting their separate ways. Mouthing a sentence to each other before they leave.

" **I'll take you to the moon, I promise**."

" **I'll be waiting, Tsukki.** "


	6. Chapter Six

The freckled boy sat in class as he pondered about Tsukishima. He was awfully nice, which was good for Yamaguchi. The emotionless boy would listen to the clock as each slow minute would pass by, head in the palm of his hand as his arm would rest on the desk. He was bored out of his mind, all he wanted to do was get out of class and go home. Maybe it didn't seem like a good idea to go back to his abusive household, but he didn't want to be near so many people. He barely made eye contact whenever he would meet one of his classmates' eyes, it was unnerving and bothersome.

 _The bell_. 

Tadashi mentally put his fists in the air as a small celebration for the class ending. He walked outside of his class and made his way to the route he always took home. A few steps were heard from behind of the freckled boy. The boy sighed and rolled his eyes before feeling a light tap on his shoulder. The boy turned around just to see Tsukishima waving slightly.

Tsukishima quickened his regular walking pace to keep up with Tadashi, both boys now walking beside each other. Tsukishima noticed the silence between them wanting to break it. Tadashi however enjoyed the silence, accepting and finding the presence of Tsukishima nice. Usually, he'd hate the presence of anyone else. But Tsukishima was different. It didn't bother him at all.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out at my house today? It's okay if you have plans. Just wanted to spend time together you know?" Tsukishima said while fiddling with the lace of his backpack, looking down at the floor. Tadashi nodded slightly not thinking of his father at the moment. Tsukishima showed a small smile, turning the corner only to see his brother on the porch holding one of the younger siblings' dinosaur comic books. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and ran up to his older brother. 

"AKITERU! I told you to stop going through my stuff!" Akiteru, huh. Tadashi walked up to the two siblings who were now trying to dropkick each other, tugging on the older sleeve finally getting his attention.

"Akiteru-san, I'm Tadashi Yamaguchi hello." Tadashi bowed for a few seconds before coming back up to see Akiteru-san clenching his stomach and bursting out in laughter. Tadashi tilted his head, no emotion on his face. Akiteru tried speaking but only got caught off by his own voice hollering out. Tsukishima facepalmed and smacked the back of Akiteru's head, taking his dinosaur comic book back. 

Yamaguchi shrugged and saw Akiteru-san run after Tsukishima, Tadashi took off his shoes at the front as he put his bookbag down to the side. Tsukishima ran upstairs, Yamaguchi figured he was heading towards his room so he followed the boy. Tsukishima signaled Tadashi to hurry up and run into the room by waving his hand towards himself. Tadashi caught on and rushed into the room catching his breath since he was halfway through the stairs before deciding to follow the blondes' directions. 

Tsukishima locks the door and falls on the floor clutching the comic book close. Tadashi lays down beside the boy looking at the comic book in awe, never seeing a comic book before. Tsukishima looks at the boy next to him then at his comic book, lending it to the green-haired boy. 

"Oh, I don't want to-"

"I saw how you looked at the book, take it." Tsukishima smiled as he opened Yamaguchi's arms and placed the book in between them both. Yamaguchi looked at the book lifting it then nodding at Tsukishima accepting the nice gift. Tsukishima got up slowly and looked at his movies, grabbing "The Good Dinosaur". He inserted the disc from inside of the movie case inside of his DVD player. 

"I'll go grab some popcorn! You stay right here." Yamaguchi nodded at Tsukishima, watching him leave the room as the freckled boy sat on the floor. He made his way to Tsukishimas bed hugging a pillow. The ocean, It reminded him of the ocean. As if he was sitting there in the sand feeling the light breeze of the wind, his feet barely touching the water as it would rise and come back done. 

The hint of freshness yet saltiness there was. It was so relaxing. He freckled boy dug his head further in the pillow taking in the fresh scent. Tsukishima came back inside with popcorn and thought that Yamaguchi was suffocating, so as a friend should, he pulled him off of the pillow. 

"Why'd you do that?" Yamaguchi asked with annoyance. He wanted to continue sticking his head in the pillow. He wanted the pillow back.

"because you were going to die!!!!" Tsukishima exaggerated. He just didn't want to see his only friend get injured. Yamaguchi shook his head and started explaining how he liked the smell of the pillow and then grabbed the de-shaped pillow, (due to Tadashi squeezing it) clutching it once more. Tsukishima laid next to Yamaguchi, watching the movie quietly. 

An hour passed as the movie was still playing, the pillow started losing its scent and Tadashi whined. He looked around and saw Tsukishima sleeping peacefully beside him. The freckled boy pushed the pillow away and looked at the blonde for a minute before deciding to scoot closer. Yamaguchi wanted more of the ocean scent, resulting in him involuntarily moving even closer. Starting to be in The blondes' personal space. Yamaguchi dug his head into the boys' chest taking in the relaxing scent.

Yamaguchi hated touching or being touched. It was confusing and weird. and gross. but the scent was his only escape from reality. Tsukishima felt a figure on him, it was really light but also weighed a bit. He opened his eyes lazily, wanting to catch up on sleep only to see the younger curled up against him. The blonde found the sight adorable but felt something start to build up. 

He needed to sneeze.

Tsukishima tried his best not to, but he failed. Miserably. Yamaguchi was just about to start drifting off into dreamland before Tsukishima sneezed. Yamaguchi jumped up and looked around finding himself near the blonde. Tsukishima pushed Tadashi away and looked out the window. Yamaguchi looked at the clock and saw that it was getting late.

"I should leave." Yamaguchi sighed, knowing he'd have to deal with his father at home. He sat up, walking towards the door, looking at the ceiling. _There are stars_. _They're pretty_. The freckled boy thought to himself. He enjoyed constellations and astrology. 

"Oh, Okay.. I'll see you at school tomorrow?" Tsukishima fiddled with his fingers before looking back up at Tadashi who replied with a nod and a thumbs up. Tadashi looked at the floor and picked up the Dinosaur comic book and carried it in one hand. He opened the door and walked down the stairs seeing Akiteru get hit by a volleyball. The freckled boy rushed towards the entrance and picked up his bag trying to avoid getting hit by the second that was flying across the kitchen.

Tsukishima crawled to his bedroom window watching the freckled boy leave his house. He rested his head against the window sill, observing Tadashis' movements and seeing his street and which house he'd go into.

Yamaguchi entered the household quietly before the silence got interrupted by his father shouting at him.

"Where the hell have you been." Tadashi sighed quietly and explained to him what happened. The boy started fiddling with his thumbs and looked away. The father kneeled down, gripping Yamaguchis' shoulder. He showed an intimidating smile as he kept his eyes closed. Tadashi knew what was going to happen so he just nodded and went up to his room. 

The father started walking up the stairs unbuckling his belt as he reaches the final step. The younger boy starts tensing up as he was bent over his own bed. 

"Tadashi you know what happens when you don't obey your fathers' orders don't you?" Tadashi nodded as tears left his eyes. He closed his eyes and rested a side of his head on the pillow as he heard the sound of the first whip being given. Yamaguchi counted for every whip, crying out in pain. 

Several minutes passed as Yamaguchi sat there emotionless. All of his tears have dried by now, some of his hair sticking to his forehead. The father pushed the young boy onto the ground, buckling his belt back up before leaving the room. 

Tadashi tried getting up, forcing his legs to work to get onto his bed. He was trembling and bleeding. His thighs were now covered in blood and colored purple. He curled up into a small protective ball whilst hugging his knees. The boy started hearing a sound, he thought it was just his ears but as soon as he moved he heard it again. The freckled boy reached out for the object, finding the dinosaur comic book again. He opened the book carefully and started reading, trying to forget the pain. 

The sound of the trees dancing in the wind grew, as he got deeper into the book. On the other side of the window, the father was stepping outside to reach for the opening of the mailbox. Receiving an envelope from Yamaguchis' school, He stepped inside his house while ripping open the envelope. The father sat on the couch for a second before screaming at Tadashi to get downstairs. The young boy Jumped and ran down the stairs, though his thighs were still shaking. His father stood up and threw the letter in his face, The boy caught the letter and read it to himself then nodding his head slowly.

"It has to be volleyball. You're mother played, so you'll play in her honor since you _killed_ her." He scolded, The young boy nodding then limping up to his room. The father leaving gross comments about his legs and the way he walked as if he didn't cause it. The door closed, leaving Yamaguchi in a fazed state. He knew he didn't kill his mother. He'd never do that! at least that's what he thought.

 _Am I a murderer? Did I kill her? No. No, I didn't!_ Yamaguchi tried to convince himself, Not wanting to face his fathers' statement. Tadashi limped over and fell on his bed, groaning in pain. He looked up at the stars and then the moon thinking about exploring it. The thought made him tired, making him pull a nearby blanket for coverage. His eyelids got heavier as he drifted off to dreamland. 

The next morning Tadashi woke up doing his whole morning routine again. An hour and a half later he soon arrived at school on time. He looked at Tsukishima then back at the board. time flew by quickly for the freckled boy, He swore it was just the morning again but found himself nearing the end of the day. 

He ran up to Tsukishima, obviously hesitating since he just didn't want to but had to. He called out the name of the blonde boy hoping for a response. No answer. He spoke again but got the same response. Yamaguchi got annoyed, rolling his eyes then getting his hand ready for a slapping position. Until he saw what Tsukishima had on. His headphones. The freckled boy stood in front of him and waited for the blonde to notice. Tsukishima tilted his head and took off his headphones.

"Oh hey Yama, Do you need anything?" He said in a calm manner. The freckled nodded and asked where the gymnasium was. The blonde took the younger hand leading him towards the direction of his destined location. Tadashi bowed and shook Tsukishimas' hand after he showed him where it was. The blonde nodded headed inside. 

"You're participating in volleyball too?" The freckled boy asked in a monotone voice. Tsukishima only nodded putting an earbud back into his ear to continue whatever he was listening to. Tadashi stepped inside and went to the volleyball tryouts table. He played with the ball a bit, he called it his "warm-ups". Tsukishima just laughed and continued doing his jumping exercises. 

The tryouts soon reached its end, both boys, as well as the others in the gym, were dripping in sweat and all were panting heavily. The freckled boy left the gymnasium tiredly in hopes that he made it in with his receives and serving. Tsukishima followed Tadashi for a second before getting the courage to walk up to him and actually ask him what he's been meaning to ask.

"Hey, Yama?" 

"Yes, Tsuki?" 

"Why'd you wanna join volleyball?"


End file.
